What The Back Of His T​-​Shirt Should Have Said

from by Micah Bournes

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The tiny T-Shirt stretched over the pecs and biceps of the large handsome man read
“Virginity is Curable.” But the backside should have said “However, Genital Herpes,
HIV, HPV, unwanted pregnancy or a plain old broken heart, is not. Now don’t start
rolling your eyes ‘cause I’m not trying to tell you how to live. I’m just explaining why I
choose to live the way I do.
I’m well past puberty and I’m still a virgin.
I have never made love and I will never “make love.”
Love cannot be made and is not a synonym for getting laid.
And just to set the record straight,
If I wanted some, I could get some.
But I want Someone.
Someone that will be in my life past tonight, past next month, past next decade.
Someone that won’t say to five other guys the same sweet orgasmic lie, “I, Love, You.”
Someone who believes sex is the pinnacle of a relationship and not the base of the
pyramid.
Someone I enjoy being with even when she’s not naked and in my bed.
Someone I connect with emotionally, psychologically, spiritually.
Someone who’s worth the wait.
Someone who believes I’m worth the wait.
Someone who doesn’t insist on protection ‘cause she’s not afraid of me or anything I
might have contracted.
Someone who will be glad to Mother my kids.
Someone who won’t hate her child because he looks like me.
Someone who will never try her best to eradicate my place in her memory.
Someone who knows when her breasts hang low and her wrinkles fold I will not trade her
for a porno and my right hand.
Someone who understands that it takes a strong man to control his passions.
Someone who looks forward to loosing them.
Some who will put that song on repeat and ooh wee until we faint from fatigue then wake
the next morning and feel, no, shame. ‘Cause we have the same last name,
and our nasty is holy.
So thanks for the offer Dr. Lover, but I’ll wait for one who also suffers, and we’ll cure
each other.

credits

from The Man Without A Name, released February 16, 2013

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Micah Bournes Long Beach, California

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